Having a safe relationship with caregivers in early childhood is what creates a secure attachment style, whereby an individual is ready to depend on others, permit others to depend on them, and customarily kind wholesome relationships. However divorce in and of itself doesn’t create an insecure attachment style.
“Attachment type is said to what the kid skilled earlier than, throughout, and after the divorce,” therapist Chamin Ajjan, M.S., LCSW, A-CBT, tells mbg.
Meaning the consequences of a divorce on a toddler’s attachment type is determined by amicable or fraught with rigidity. If dad and mom overtly talk with the kid all through the divorce course of, present reassurance, stability, and are variety towards each other, Ajjan says the kid will most likely develop up with a safe attachment type. In actual fact, they might even really feel more healthy as soon as their dad and mom are separated and a brand new regular is established, she provides.
On the flip aspect, high-conflict divorce, the place a toddler experiences fixed preventing, bad-mouthing, excessive ranges of stress, and blended messages about their dad and mom, can result in a variety of insecure attachment types together with: