After gaining a greater understanding of narcissism and doing the work to heal from your individual wounds, it is essential to maintain a couple of issues in thoughts to interrupt the cycle and keep away from that legacy of narcissism, which Behary talked about. Meaning doing all the things in your energy to maintain your kids from having the identical expertise and growing up to be narcissists themselves.
Probably the most essential components is permitting your little one to expertise some separation from you, based on psychoanalyst Laurie Hollman, Ph.D.
“There’s a stage of kid growth referred to as separation-individuation throughout the first three years of life,” Hollman writes in her guide Are You Living With a Narcissist? “That is when the kid should work out his must really feel near an admiring mom whereas additionally growing a wholesome separation the place he can tolerate that he’s not all-powerful and grandiose.” In different phrases, permit your little one to develop their very own id other than you, and to really feel protected doing so.
On the identical time, it is essential for fogeys to set limits–especially in the event that they’re nervous about elevating a future narcissist. Some mother and father battle to self-discipline, particularly those that are people-pleasers on account of themselves being raised with narcissistic mother and father. However kids require wholesome limitations.
“The kid wants [his mother] to set limits in order that he is aware of the way to relate to others in a approach that’s acceptable,” Hollman writes. “If he’s too highly effective, he expects that he’s entitled to greater than a toddler ought to have.”